If you are a believer, did you ever find yourself going through something really hard, yet you have supernatural peace that makes no sense? I’ve experienced this numerous times, and I’m grateful to have had the experience from God of being held secure even when everything around me is uncertain. I’m not referring to the kind of peace that descends on you when everything is finally going well. I’m talking about the peace that comes when you are walking in the midst of the pain. It’s a supernatural thing when God gives you peace even while your wounds are still fresh and your tears are still falling.

Philippians 4:7 says, “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Notice the wording: surpasses all understanding. That means people around you won’t be able to explain it. You may not even be able to explain it. You know that it has to be God because it sure isn’t you.

Peace doesn’t come from you or what you do – it comes from the presence of God.

In Mark 4, we see Jesus asleep on a boat in the middle of a violent storm. His disciples are panicking, but Jesus is resting. Why? Because He knew the power of God was greater than the chaos around Him. We can experience that same kind of rest when we shift our focus from the waves to the One who commands them. You may not be able to stop the storm, but you can rest in the arms of the One who speaks, “Peace, be still.”

Today I want to share 3 steps that I personally take to access the peace of God in painful times:

Surrender your right to know why

You may never know the reason why, specifically when you’re dealing with sin. Satan is the author of confusion, and therefore,  sin never makes sense.

You will wrack your brain wondering, “Why did that person have an affair?” or “Why did this person betray me?” Stop trying to figure it out. The enemy is such a confusing loser and he will keep you up late at night trying to figure out what you did wrong, how you could have stopped it, what you could have done better, etc.

STOP.

It’s not about you. It didn’t start with you and it’s not going to end with you.

Even if you did know why, it still wouldn’t bring peace to your soul. Only Jesus can do that.

So often we think we need to know all the particulars, even if just to pray. One time I was upset about something I was dealing with concerning a family member. I wanted specifics – I wanted a diagnosis. I wanted details. I wanted to know WHY something was happening. All for the reason of, “If we know what it is, then we can pray specifically….” Finally, a wise friend who was praying with me about it gave me the counsel, “We don’t need to know what it is. We don’t need a diagnosis. God already knows what it is. Pray about it, telling Him to have His way and heal the problem, no matter what it turns out to be.” That gave me a lot of peace just reminding myself that God knew what it was. I could let it go and put resolving it in His hands.

Peace doesn’t always come with answers. Sometimes, it comes with a quiet assurance that God is still in control—even when nothing makes sense.

Surrender your right to determine the outcome

I’ve said this hundreds of times in the last few years. It’s the definition of true faith that God gave me:

True faith isn’t the belief that God will do exactly what you tell Him to do or not do. True faith is leaving the outcome up to God and trusting Him completely that whatever He decides is what’s best for you.

We will never have peace in demanding our own way with God.

We only have peace in surrendering our will to His and allowing the revelation of it to be on His timetable.

“I came to learn that God never shows us something we aren’t ready to understand. Instead, He lets us see what we need to see, when we need to see it. He’ll wait until our eyes and hearts are open to Him, and then when we’re ready, He will plant our feet on the path that’s best for us…but it’s up to us to do the walking.”  

Immaculee Illbagiza

This is one of the most difficult life lessons to learn, and if I’m honest, I’m still learning it. One book that I go back to time and again is, Just Enough Light for the Step I’m On, by Stormie Omartian. I read it every time I need to have peace about the next step, whatever it is. This book never fails to speak to me in a deep way.

Surrender your right to be bitter about the outcome

One of the things my therapist had to work with me the most on was surrendering my resentment over hurts from my past. To be clear, there were good reasons to be upset…I wasn’t mad over nothing. But no matter how bad the circumstances were, nothing justified resentment. It was only keeping me spinning my proverbial wheels. Deep inside I knew that, but I just didn’t want to let go. A part of me felt like I would be saying, “It’s okay,” if I let go. And I have a hard time saying things are okay when they aren’t.  When I tell someone, “it’s okay” or I let go, a part of me feels like I am justifying their behavior.  I had to come to the place of being willing to let go of resentment no matter how justified I felt.

The thing about resentment is how terribly it affects your present life. Barbara De Angelis says, “The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.” It’s interesting how much freer I felt in loving my husband, and others who are close to me when I began to release the resentment I was holding onto. Even if the resentment wasn’t toward some of the people in my present, those in my past impacted how deeply I could relax into my present relationships and allow myself to feel good feelings and to love with abandon. I learned that when I held resentment for certain people, I had unfortunately tethered myself to them with an almost unbreakable cord. I say “almost” because Jesus is the only one who could break that cord, when I became willing to let Him.

As a side note, it is interesting to me how much of that resentment I felt through tension in my neck or a tight jaw, and as I let it go I began to realize how much better I felt, even when just driving home from work I would notice a more peaceful me whose body was relaxed and at ease. I also noticed I started sleeping better. As my husband often says, bitterness or resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.

The bottom line here is this: if in your heart you still cling to anything but God, you can’t be free. And freedom is everything.