What to Do When Things
Aren’t Getting Better

by | Oct 2, 2023

Reality check: some things don’t get better, at least right away. That doesn’t mean nothing gets better, but it means some situations may not, for a while. For example, there are diseases that are managed – not cured, unless God heals them. There are also relationships that may not experience the improvement desired, but you can navigate them with God’s help.

I am a person who lives in the supernatural as well as the natural, and know that God does the impossible. And at the same time, as many miracles as I’ve seen (and there have been a lot) there have been just as many times that what I or others prayed for didn’t happen.

What do you do at that point when something you live with daily is clearly not improving and you need help, STAT? 

Realize YOU Can Get Better Even if This Doesn’t

Just because one aspect of your life isn’t going well, doesn’t mean everything in your life has to be the same way. The challenge you face may be a big area of your life, but it’s still not your entire life. So first, remember that the totality of your life is greater than this obstacle. Although you can’t change other people and there are situations you don’t have control of, there is one person you can change and that is YOU. So with God’s help and empowerment, change yourself for the better in whatever way you can. 

Develop a Support System

Whatever you are walking through – don’t walk through it alone. You don’t have to and you weren’t designed to. If you believe you have to go it alone – you’ve believed a lie. Find people you can trust who will be there to listen, to give wisdom and to uphold you in prayer not just during the particularly difficult times but on a regular basis. If you don’t have anyone in your life like that right now and you are stumped on how to find them, my advice is– broaden your horizons. Consider someone older or younger than you, someone who doesn’t currently run in the same circles you do, someone perhaps a little “out of the box” for you. The right person may be someone you may not have considered before. They may be your new best friend! God never intended any of us to bear the trials of life alone. 

Practice Self-Care and Soul Care

Dealing with situations that don’t get better – or get worse, is hard work. It drains your energy like nothing else. And while we need to practice good self-care as a general rule, being faithful to do it in the midst of  long-term stress is particularly critical for overall well-being. Whatever you need to do to physically and emotionally invest in yourself – do that. For me this may be taking 15 minutes to do nothing but deeply breathe – to dabbing on essential oils or taking a bath and using my favorite scrubs, to getting the occasional massage. Even more important than self care is soul care…things like reading God’s Word, worship, prayer, journaling and the like. Anything is made worse when we aren’t tending to our soul.

Practice Solitude

Strength for the journey usually isn’t acquired in an atmosphere of noise. When circumstances are at their roughest, I try to get to a quiet place as quickly as possible and recharge. Some of that is because I’m an introvert who requires alone time to replenish. But I believe there is value in this for extroverts too. You don’t build a reservoir of strength in a cacophonous environment. 

Keep Growing In Your Walk With God

As I’ve already mentioned, handling things that don’t get better is draining. I don’t know how people cope when they don’t have a relationship with God. I talk to God in my head about these issues, sometimes all day long. And He speaks back, giving me wisdom to not only survive but thrive. In times like this more than ever – I need Him. I see that as time goes on, challenges can sometimes worsen and I need to not only maintain my walk with Him but grow to a deeper level where there is a deeper well to draw from.

You don’t get to choose whether you will experience a shaken in life. You only get to choose what you stand on. Without exception the foundation of my relationship in Christ helps me stand in times when things don’t get any better and for a time, may further decline.

My prayers are with everyone reading this today, as you face whatever trial is bearing down on you.

You are not alone.


  1. Christina Floyd

    Really enjoyed reading this blog. It’s my first one of yours! I like the practicality of it and the balance. Looking forward to reading more of your blogs 🙂

    • Dr. Deanna Shrodes

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I appreciate your kind words!!

  2. Adria Mason

    Thank you. Your words have really encouraged me. I am on this PhD journey. And it’s a long and bumpy road for me. I feel better in tackling the day though.


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