Writing and Fear of Loss

by | Aug 16, 2023

Writing about some things can cause you to lose everything or nearly everything.

I’ve written a lot, and I’ve lost a lot.

I’ve also gained so much more than I’ve lost.

But the losses seem to stick in your mind more with anything. So we avoid loss if possible. It’s called “loss aversion” and it’s real.

Reading about some issues is rare simply because people are scared out of their mind about what will happen if they write openly about it. If you dare to write about some challenges in a public setting, the consequences can include loss of family and friend relationships, job, income, and more. It’s sad, if you’re just writing about something that is a part of life, and it’s making a difference in people’s lives.

I went through a challenge in my life years ago that was really common. Almost every adult goes through it, and it’s entirely normal, but no one writes about it. Heck, I’m not even writing about it now.  I combed through Amazon to find even one book about it. I surfed the internet. And at the end of the day I found only one book about it. Meanwhile, millions of people were desperately trying to navigate the same thing I was.

I wondered…how could this be?  How can millions of people struggle with something that not one person is writing about? And so I asked my wonderful assistant at the time (Erika) who is also a friend I confide in, “Why is nobody writing on this? Is it not a need? Am I alone?” She responded that it’s a huge need but nobody wants to write about it because they don’t want to lose more than they are already losing. And she said I could probably write a bang-up book about it and get a ton of readers, but also agreed — I’d lose big time. Neither of us felt the loss was a good idea. So…

On some subjects I’ve written about I’ve “taken one for the team” so to speak and been the person who braved the inevitable loss enough to help other people. I gained a lot in catharsis and readers, and yet the losses were so painful.

I don’t believe any writer is called to lose everything over and over and over again. You have to choose carefully what you risk everything for.  I’ve taken risks to write and I’ll do it again. Just not about every subject that comes along. But here’s what I want to say about this today…

When writers take a leap of courage to write on any sensitive subject, we need to appreciate them. When a writer takes one for the team, those whose lives are changed by their writing are one of the main rewards for all the loss they inevitably face. Not the only one – but one of the biggest. So when someone writes about something that requires tremendous bravery, let them know what a difference it has made for you.

Somewhere, there is a woman at her computer right now daring to write her story about going through and overcoming struggles that few if any dare to write about…

She is weighing the consequences.

She desperately wants to help people.

And yet she fears the aftermath.

She is in the process of making the choice to press forward to write about it.

I can’t wait to read her book.

And, I am eager to write my letter of thanks.

I hope my note of appreciation for her taking the hit for all of us who need her words will be just one reason she smiles and says, “it was worth it.”


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